When the clock strikes 8pm, puffs of cigarette smoke, sorted drunken comparisons of the star of the nights' coital prowess, and clinking of vodka-filled glasses will cease momentarily as a man...not a tall man, nor a man clad with hair...but a man whos years of experience, amplified opinions of his observations, and a point of view so honest and funny..it has been known to change an entire life in one night, will step onto the stage and take a seat on the throne. What will happen next is likely to be a moment that will go down in some peoples' history (via their digital camera if they're too wasted) and will not be a night forgotten for those of us who know, admire, and at times secretly wish a bruised funny bone to this man.
This man I speak of is the one and only Auggie Smith. If you don't know the name...google it. Comedy Central, Last Comic Standing, etc...(I've already taken 3 Tylenol PM's and I don't feel like copy and pasting his bio from google).
I love Auggie Smith like an insestual older brother...although I am one of few who can say that I do not know Auggie in the bible sense. As much as I respect and treasure this man, I can not WAIT to see his ass get roasted tomorrow night.
I was told tonight that at the roast of Auggie Smith, no comic is safe (I can only hope that something smarter than 'whore' will be hurled at me or the other lady comics)...but the man of the hour, Auggie, is who I will be focusing on. I am waiting for the precise moment that Auggie - with his stoic demeanor breaks. Now...don't get me wrong, Auggie will eat it up...he will laugh and enjoy himself. I have just never been in the presence of Auggie showing outward discomfort and I can't wait.
I am equally as excited to see the roasters. For those of you that love googling...Troy Thirdgill, Art Krug, Susan Rice, Andy Andrist, Ron Osborne, Jessa Reed, Richard Bain, Kristine Levine, Keith Wallan, Eddie Van Ness, Lonnie Bruhn, Virginia Jones, Holli Pappan, Arlo Stone, and many many more.
The prodigious Dax Jordan will will be the Roast Master for this enchanting evening.
Fez Ballroom - Burnside & SW 11th - 8pm - 21+ - $6
One of many favorite moments with Mr. Auggie Smith.
The Setting: Melissa and my apartment - Downtown Portland - December. Melissa and I decided to throw an ugly Christmas sweater party. Many comics and friends attended. Katie had brought a unicorn pinata to the Christmas party because she loves to tease my unicorn libido, and - what is more fitting and appropriate than a pinata at a Christmas party? After watching few failed attempts at breaking the pinata in the barren living room of our apartment...Auggie Smith decided to -with the help of 'broom holder', Richard Bain - take matters into his own hands by grabbing a 2 x 4 and showing us how bald men get things done.
I don't think further explanation is necessary:
1 comment:
OH we're gonna take him down!
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